We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize