He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
