Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
