please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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