my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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