Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
