Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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