his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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