First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
