I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
