Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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