why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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