At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
