Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
