ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize