I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
