I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
