booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
