I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
