Having a random hookup so left but love u
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
