just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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