She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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