I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
