He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
