I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
