I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize