I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
