She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
