i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
