did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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