just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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