My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
