I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
