CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
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