you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
