There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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