btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
