things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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