my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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