wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
