Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
worst night to have a conscience
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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