i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
