I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize