...so i touched it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
