How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize