do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
