Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
