He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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