I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
