I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize