hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
