My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Randomize
