dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
