Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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