Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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