K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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