I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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