dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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