I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
